Tuesday, June 22, 2010

The GOSPEL of ME (As dictated by GOD)



1. And GOD looked at the world in 2010 and GOD was a little dismayed and annoyed

2. There was so much hate and mistrust and greed upon the planet.

3. And GOD said unto the people.”I have been speaking to you but you don’t seem to listen anymore.”

4. But the people went on exercising their egos and didn’t hear GOD speak to them nor did they hear those who brought the intentions and interpretations of what GOD was trying to get across to people and those who heard the voice of GOD were ignored or medicated or institutionalized because everyone knew that all GOD ever had to say had been said 2,000 years ago.

5. GOD was not pleased especially when people blamed GOD for things like disease, pestilence and other sundry occurrences since GOD was busy doing other things and had left people in charge of the Earth and that which dwelled upon it.

6. And GOD said,”Why, when I have given you minds, do you continue to accept the babbling of those who would act in my name in ways of HATE and disunity? I am the GOD of unconditional LOVE and maybe some of those people back in the old days got it wrong, or the translators changed the words up a bit or mistranslated or even changed things for power and greed in themselves which vexed me at the time but I let it slide because I figured the smarter ones of you would influence the weaker. I was mistaken of course since I hadn’t quite planned for mob rule but then I fixed all that. And lo, you still ignored me.”

7. And GOD sent down some new rules that ought to be considered and adopted into people’s lives knowing full well that many would ignore them in favor of the badly translated writings of the past.

8. “Gay people are OK. I find them interesting and entertaining. That whole Sodom and Gomorrah thing had nothing to do with Gay stuff it was a misunderstanding about hospitality and frankly I had nothing to do with the destruction part, which had to do with a meteor that got away from me! M’I bad?”

9. “That whole Leviticus book is really insane I mean SHRIMP an abomination? Don’t work on Sunday? The Rest day was actually Saturday anyway that’s another mistake but what am I going to do smite everyone at Knott’s Berry Farm for helping people have a good time? You people must really think I’m a bad GOD?”

10. “Drop the whole our FATHER thing-as an omnipotent super being I reserve the right to be whatever I want to be-you decide if the seed or the egg is more important? Actually it’s more like the seed of the WOMAN and the water or fertilizer of the MAN to help the seed along isn’t it? Anyway my name isn’t GOD (that’s a generic term) but I haven’t settled on one name so let’s leave it that way for now but trust me I am seldom (if ever) an old white guy with a beard sitting on a cloud throwing thunderbolts.”

11. “I LOVE you all and I don’t send diseases and stuff to punish you, how cruel would that be? You all punish yourselves enough (and each other for that matter) you need to ease up and use the knowledge I have been sending to HELP each other (I always did love the LOVE ONE ANOTHER AS I HAVE LOVED YOU part).

12. “That’s all for now, if you would just work on those things I would be
really pleased.”

13. “Oh. Sorry about cockroaches, that was a bad idea. OOPS!”

AMEN

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